SELF-INTERRUPTION TO SELF-RENEWAL

8/28/2025

The word renewal means resuming an activity or state after interruption.

So Self-Renewal is resuming being your Self after interruption.

Self-interruption can and does look lots of different ways. One of the ways my Self-interruption occurred was a need for order and structure. Deeply, this was about SAFETY.

For many years I was successful in meeting my need for order and structure, and therefore safety, by tracking and counting.

In my 20s I counted the numbers of hours I slept, miles I ran and calories I consumed. As a corporate event planner I kept track of timelines, tickets and executives’ preferences. As a mom I shifted to tracking kid stuff - hours slept, food consumed, and later, homework and phones.

For awhile the tracking and counting did it’s job…the illusion that I had everything under control was met, and therefore, I was SAFE. But eventually I had to acknowledge that I could no longer continue as I had been.

You might say, but Ellen, this sounds like ordinary life. Of course you needed safety! Of course you wanted order and structure!

And what I am saying to YOU is that yes, this was my life for a long time. But my need for Safety began to take life. And I got to a point where I could no longer abide this Self-interruption.

What did I do? I did a most seemingly ordinary and difficult thing… I sat in and with the empty space that I used to fill with tracking and counting. And, gradually, I met my Self there.

I’m here to share with you that the Safety you seek is completely accessible to you from within your own body.

But Ellen, just because that’s your experience doesn’t mean it’s mine. Correct. And. The experience of BEing Safety Inherently is not just reserved for me. It’s available to and for every person, including YOU.

This message is not to say do not track or count anything. The space between needing to control and living as the Safety you are is vulnerable. It requires much. The crux of my message is this …

Being fully grounded in my own Self, my own energy, I experience the Safety I am. I allow life, my life, to rise up from within me. This is the present moment and I AM IT. This is my grounding. This is my foundation. This is my Safety. And from this natural state of me, I flow.

You don’t have to do this by yourself. I’ve had helpers and guideposts along the way. But. It is ultimately your leap to make.

Self-Interruption Self-Renewal.

xoxoxoxo