outgrowing the container
It is inevitable that something will outgrow its original container when thriving and expanding and/or when that version of that thing is complete. I planted some tomatoes this summer. Eventually I would like to create raised beds for this purpose but this year I used pots. The pots worked for the first couple of months but somewhere around mid-August they became not big enough.
This happens with people too.
It happens in every day things like school, outgrowing one grade and moving on to the next. School is designed this way. The container of kindergarten has very specific things assigned to it. And once all of those things have been met/experienced, it’s time to move on to first grade.
It happens in less obvious ways. Like in the work setting, outgrowing one position to move to a new one or outgrowing a job to leave for another. Or maybe it’s outgrowing working for someone else altogether so that you can start your own business.
But what about other things? Things, that we believe, expect or think will last forever? What about the container of a best friend relationship? The container of a marriage relationship?
What about a way of being, thinking or belief container?
Years ago, I realized that I did not want to continue living in the way I had been living. I had outgrown the container of my life as I had known it up until that point. It was at this point of awareness that I started living in new ways. Step by step. Moment by moment. My guiding directive was Joy. I didn’t know it then but I see now that I would have withered on the vine if I had stayed in the old container of my life. I would have still been here physically, but I would not have been ALIVE.
You may choose to leave the container voluntarily. You may be kicked out. Or, it is entirely possible that you may have a graceful and natural exit.
No matter what, however, leaving a container is not easy. Whether that container be kindergarten, a job, a marriage or a way of living. Leaving something is a loss. There is grief. There is pain. And. Staying somewhere that you have outgrown is also not easy. It’s a loss. There is grief. There is pain.
This sharing is an acknowledgement of all of the containers that I have outgrown, not the least of which is the me I used to be. And in my acknowledgement of me, I am acknowledging YOU. And all of the containers you have outgrown. And a big cheer to my and your continual evolution and growth!
Whatever container you find yourself in, may it provide you the supports you need until you don’t. And may you at that point, be strong enough to move on … either to the next container or maybe to no container at all. To live in such trust, freedom and joy that you just ARE.
PS After re-reading this I realize I have more to say! It is absolutely possible to be married and not be experiencing marriage as a container. Later today, 9/25/25, I and my friend Kath, are recording our next conversation on our new podcast BE YOU. It’s the rEVOLUTION and it will be on the continuation of this topic. Go Here TO LISTEN. If it’s not there yet, it will be soon.