the place where disappointment lives

Disappointment is a lie. That came to me as the header of this post and myself said to myself, that’s too harsh Ellen. But I couldn’t not say it, so here it is.

From lived experienced I share a lot about living my way to something … love, freedom, joy, peace … Today I thought it important to mention that in order to live our way to something, we also must live our way through something.

I was talking with a couple moms over the weekend. We had a gathering as we were celebrating our gorgeous, brave and wicked smart daughter who graduated from college.

Our daughter graduated early and did well as far as convention goes. One of the moms said something like, “well that’s when you know they listened to you.”

And that’s when I say, “there are so many ways to be a mom. Society has ideas about what a good mom is, what a bad mom is, but the reality is, all (and everything) we can do is be who we are.”

I go on to say something like, “I say what I say and do what I do being me, but who they are, what they do, that is completely up to them. And I’m here to support them in being who they are and doing what they do.”

These moms are staring at me, smiling and nodding. It wasn’t until later that I had the thought drop in, it’s difficult and painful to allow disappointment.

If we have expectations of ourselves and others and we don’t allow (experience/be with) for the disappointment when we or they do not do what we expect, it’s not that there isn’t disappointment. It’s there. And not being allowed to express itself through you or some other human, the disappointment will metastasize in the body in the form of physical, emotional and mental blockages.

And the most difficult part, is that we keep living the experience we’ve been living. We keep having expectations, we are happy when they are met, we are disappointed when they are not. Although not feeling the disappointment, we make ourselves or the other person wrong for not meeting our expectations.

I’ve lived my way to LOVE. But only after living my way THROUGH disappointment.

I wondered to myself this morning, why am I writing about this now and why did it come to me this way? The answer that came was this:

Probably because once you really SEE something, you are FREE from it.

xoxoxoxo